My dad had 3 boys. Now he has 3 grown sons and 6 grandchildren. His job has evolved over time, but I am not sure it is ever done, which is a blessing for all of us.
When we were little, dad’s job was to lay the foundations of right and wrong, shape raw stone, do the heavy lifting of keeping 3 energetic boys in line. His job wasn’t easy. At least we didn’t make it easy for him a lot of the time. While the winds have time have smoothed many of the sharp edges of the missteps of our childhood, I know there were times when dad had to wonder what in the world was wrong with his boys who regularly took bone-headed behavior to new levels of absurdity. I vividly recall my dad with his head in his hands, asking me questions, trying to understand why I had thrown a giant rock through a window he had just replaced. We had broken the window 3 times playing baseball over the summer. The answer was, he had replaced the window with “unbreakable glass”. I was about 8 years old at the time, and my neighborhood friends did not believe there was such a thing as unbreakable glass. In order to prove my claim, I threw a rock as hard as I could at the window from point blank range. To my horror, it exploded into a million pieces once again filling my mom's washing machine with shards of glass…marking what was now the fourth time I had smashed that window. I still recall the pained questions from my dad…”you threw what at the window?!?” “What did you think would happen when you threw a rock at the window?!?”
My dad was and remains the consummate person of logic, reason, and analysis. Events like the window smashing were pretty regular occurrences at my house. Given his penchant for logic and reason, dad had to be the most puzzled and perplexed father on the planet trying to understand the actions of his boys. Sometimes it was me fielding his angst-ridden and befuddled questions; sometimes it was one of my 2 brothers having to explain their ludicrous behavior. Justifiably, dad had to frequently wonder if his sons would ever be able to live on their own. As we got older our missteps got bigger and more expensive, but they kept coming. We broke lamps and furniture playing football and baseball in the house. When we could drive we all got speeding tickets and wrecked cars.
When we were little dad worked hard on the “right and wrong” foundation. As we got older, he focused more on the “good judgment” foundation…giving us just enough rope to hang ourselves, which we usually did. Two days after an ice storm in Richmond, I wanted to go out driving with friends. Dad was against the idea from the start stating that there were still icy patches on the road and it would be better to wait one more day before going out. I badgered dad endlessly. He eventually agreed let me go out, and also gave me a great opportunity to exercise good judgment by saying, "but don't go far from home". Needless to say, the evening ended with my car wedged on a rock, half-way down a ravine when I skidded off the road after hitting a patch of ice…many miles from home and well beyond the reaches of what could be considered even marginally good judgment.
In what has to be a testament to both my mom and dad’s love, faith, and persistence, miraculously all three of their sons have been of the house on their own for many years. We pay our own speeding tickets, fix our own dented cars, and try to instill the same foundations he laid for us in our kids. Dad’s role has evolved from disciplinarian, provider, and teacher into that of oracle and advisor. He is as logical and reasoned as ever. He is usually reading 2-3 books at the same time on a variety to topics from economics and history to calculus and HTML programming. He stays current on the trends of the world and the activities of his children and grandchildren. He gives advice when asked and love and support always. He has earned the privilege of being an advisor to his sons and while we don’t break his windows or wreck his cars anymore, we still keep him pretty busy. Thanks Dad! We love you! Happy Father's Day!
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