It is officially summer and the travel season is in full swing. For better or worse I have been a pretty frequent year-round traveller for many years. I can't help but notice that the attire of the American travelling public seems to be in a perpetual state of decline. Summer seems to bring out the worst in travel attire. Airports, train stations, hotel lobbys are all pretty much the same story. Rag-tag travellers, frequently sporting clothes that should have been tossed years ago.
It is odd that people seem to intentionally dress down when travelling. I understand travel dress that is comfortable, but some of the outfits of the travelling public are at best ridiculous. Walking to catch a train this week in Union Station, it seemed that each gate had a cadre of clowns getting ready to board their train, each more ridoculously clad than the last. It kind of makes me pine for the days that I have seen in old movies and news clips, but never experienced when people dressed up when they travelled. Rich, poor, black, white...male travellers were wearing coats and ties, female travellers in dresses. What drove me to long for the days of dressing up to travel? The male foot, that's what.
I have nothing against the male foot. In fact, I am a fan. I have two myself and use them daily. They have carried me across the finish lines of four marathons. They get me to work every day. I walk 18 holes far more often than I ride. I don't know what I would do without them. However, there is a fact about the male foot the travellers need to understand. The male foot, while tremendously useful, is neither attractive nor decorative. Its asthetics are the inverse of its functionality. It needs to be kept away from sight. Especially when travelling, the male foot needs to be like a good umpire crew in a baseball game. They are doing their job, the game could not proceed without them, but when they are at their best, no one notices them, they are essentially invisible. The male foot needs to be similarly invisible when travelling. The only thing that makes an airplane meal on a cross country flight less appealing is sharing that meal with exposed male feet in flip flops.
While the male foot in flip flops or sandals is the nadir of the male traveller's woredrobe. A close second is the sockless male foot stuffed into a flimpsy black Italian loafers, when wearing shorts. Who in the world thinks this is a good look? When your mother told you that if you were in an accident, she hoped you would be wearing clean underwear...I think she assumed that your outward appearance would not include fat feet stuffed into loafers paired with short pants...while you stood in line to board your flight to Paris. Maybe Parisians are rude to Americans because they can spot us a mile away.
No one is ever going to call my sense of fashion hip or trendy. Puttering around the house or the neighborhood, I am the first one to choose comfort over style and am all for flip flops and shorts. However, I think we can get the male foot undercover where it belongs. I call on wives and mothers everywhere to help keep the male foot hidden from view. Help us help you. This is not the time to be polite. We are drowning in a sea of bad male footwear. I think this is a case of "by any means necessary". Ladies, this fight is up to you. Good luck, like always, we can't help ourselves and are counting on you.
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